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Child custody: Helping your child process your divorce

Ending your marriage is something you and your soon-to-be ex have thought long and hard about. If you have children together, you will have to let the children know what is going on. There are several things you can do to help your children as you move through the Virginia divorce process. If you are just embarking on this journey, some of these tips might help you out.

One important thing to remember is that your child still needs both parents. Even though you and your ex don't get along, you shouldn't allow your feelings toward each other to interfere with the child's relationship with either you or your ex. If you and your ex can't stand each other and are at odds about the divorce, those issues shouldn't be discussed in front of the children. Instead, find private time to discuss them or go to therapy to discuss them.

When you tell your child about the divorce, your child will likely have some questions, so be prepared with answers. Children of school age might want to know where they will go to school. Questions about where each parent will live and who the child will live with might come up. While some of these questions might not have answers right away, it is important to let your child know what the current plans are. A big part of being able to answer your child's questions is to seek out answers ahead of time from someone familiar with Virginia divorce laws.

If at all possible, you and your ex should tell the children together about the divorce. This gives you a good footing to start off the new way of life. Make sure that you both let the children know you love them. Help them work through their feelings about the divorce and let them know that you will be as open and honest in an age-appropriate manner as possible.

Source: Kids Health from Nemours, "Helping Your Child Through a Divorce" accessed Mar. 11, 2015

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